If you have any lewd, R-rated, possibly offensive, or generally naughty jokes that you want to share, here is the place to do it.

If you are easily offended by humour of this nature please stop reading and go to the Daily Haha Thread (v2) discussion where you will find much cleaner humour.

Please try not to post anything too offensive though!

Enjoy

Gidday

Dave, I am not interested.

This is the slowest internet site I have ever visited and you have hidden this right down at the bottom where it take all night to find it.

I think you must be trying to stuff the site up altogether. And this is all because some stupid cow who has done nothing but hassel everyone on every thread she has been on.

Get a life mat.

I will leave this here in case anyone wants to use it. But I will simply allow the old haha thread to continue. It seems this hasn't solved anything unfortunately.

Good one! I've now got 3 humour threads to follow! I've bookmarked each one so that I don't have to go searching for them.

Sorry Dave, it seems "Censorship" won't work with oldies.

Those that don't want "Ribald" jocks can easily practice their own Censorship by not going to that thread in the first place or not reading jokes that offend them.

This has only been a problem in the last couple of days.

Bryan - I'm not trying to censor. Not at all. I am trying to reduce arguments between people based on the content of the thread.

I should apologise for the way it sounds, what I did mean was that that is the effect that has been. But it seems that the majority want things as they were.

Not trying to put you down for what you were trying to achieve.

I'm sorry for the misunderstanding Bryan. You are right though, so I have left all options open for members to choose as they wish.

I am also monitoring a couple of members who seem to have stirred up some trouble in the forums recently, one member in particular who has upset the balance. I think this, more than anything, is the true root of the conflicts we've been seeing in the discussions recently!

I hope you enjoy the rest of the day and the weekend ahead!

Gidday Dave

Good onya mate. That sounds the right aproach to me.

Now lets hope that one can learn from this.

Cheers

Jack

I'm not scared, LOL.

Too much to drink:

A drunk gets up from the bar and heads for the bathroom. A few minutes later, a loud, blood curdling scream is heard coming from the bathroom. A few minutes after that, another loud scream reverberates through the bar.

The bartender goes into the bathroom to check. "What's all the screaming about in there? You're scaring my customers!"

"I'm just sitting here on the toilet and every time I try to flush, something comes up and squeezes the hell out of my private parts."

With that, the bartender opens the door, looks in and says, "You idiot! You're sitting on the mop bucket!!

How to talk about women and remain politically correct:

She is not a babe or chick...she is a breasted American

She does not scream or moan..she is verbally appreciative
She is not easy...she is horizontally accessible
She is not dumb...she took a detour off the information superhighway
She has not been around...she is previously enjoyed companion
She is not an airhead...she is reality impaired
She is not drunk or tipsy...she is chemically inconvenienced
She is not horny...she is sexually focused
She does not have breast implants...she is medically enhanced
She is not a nag..she is verbally repetitive
She is not a slut...she is sexually extroverted
She does not have major league hooters...she is pectorally superior
She is not a two-bit whore...she is a low cost provider

A high school English teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being there tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family - but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"

A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raises his hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"

The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.